Having a verbal conversation with another person or people is called a dialogue. When you are speaking non-verbally in your own mind it is basically a one-way conversation with yourself. Weinberg and Gould (2019) added that “anytime you think about something, you are in a sense, talking to yourself” (p. 396). The term is called self-talk and it can be both positive and negative (Anderson, 2005). It can also be constructive or destructive depending on the words and the tones that you allow to run through your mind. If done with positive intentions and focus, positive self-talk can affect “self-confidence, anxiety control, effort, mood or attentional control” (Anderson, 2005, p. 116) in a positive and uplifting way.
Self-talk plays a huge role in not only how an athlete prepares for a performance, but how they react to the detailed outcomes of those movements within the sessions or games. Self-talk can also impact “future actions and feelings” (Weinberg & Gould, 2019, p. 396). Self-talk has three types – positive, informational and negative (Weinberg & Gould, 2019).
Positive self-talk and being positive with every performance can lead to many levels of growth and gains both physically and mentally. Players with a positive relationship with themselves – meaning they are nice to themselves regardless of game outcomes will often report thinking things like: “I can do this,” regardless of the challenge.
Informational self-talk is reminding yourself about techniques and task-related performances. These would look and sound like the familiar phrases that you would hear on any court or field from coaches and parents. “Bend your knees,” “Follow-through,” and a parent’s favorite, “Keep your eyes on the ball!”
Negative self-talk is found in athletes who are super hard on themselves and often are so critical of their negative outcomes, all their energy toward growing and having fun, stops. This emotional state can cause athletes to repeatedly fail and can cause higher levels of stress and anxiety, further making the person doubt their abilities. Furthermore, this negativity can start a bad cycle of associating a game or sport with their past actions or outcomes. How many times have you heard a student, friend or player state, “I’m no good at that game?” Or, “I’ll never be good enough to win because I can’t do ______.” While in the games, they can be heard yelling at themselves openly and saying things like: “That was so dumb“ or “You stink!” The bottom line to this very fragile balance between being positive and negative is you are what you believe you are and, in both instances, if you think you will succeed or fail, you will.
Self-talk can be used in two ways. First, spontaneous – which means the instant after something happens and secondly, goal-directed – which means having cognitive cues or phrases to use to remind you about how to do things like a rehearsal in band or chorus. The challenge that every athlete is challenged with is how to be mature enough to handle the game outcomes, win or lose and how to react during the process of those games. Being spontaneous means that you will have moments of success and failure and on some occasions, you will be tasked with taking the final shot or try to protect the goal from the final shot and you will fail. Does that one failing moment in time define you? NO!
In an interview with my mentor, Dr. Nate Zinsser, who is the head of the department of sport psychology at West Point, he spoke of failure and keeping it “At an emotional arms-length and always keep it in front of you” (N. Zinsser, personal communication, July, 2011). What Dr. Zinsser meant by this is, you know what happened (failure) and you do your best to learn from it and get better, but it does not define or own you and will never control you.
The 6 rules to improving your self-talk are:
1) Keeping word phrases short and specific (Balance, eyes, elbow, follow-through).
2) Use first person and stay in the present tense (I can do this! I am worth it! I have the power!).
3) Construct positive phrases (Take it one day at a time and have fun!).
4) Say your phrases with meaning and attention (Trust the process and love it!).
5) Speak kindly to yourself (It is okay, just don’t make the same mistake twice, instead, make a new mistake!).
6) Repeat phrases often (The more you say it, the more you will believe it!) (Weinberg & Gould, 2019, p. 400).
PAPER CLIPS AND GOLF
When an athlete goes unchecked and remains negative, he or she could be ruining any chance for a positive experience. A young man in his 20's had hired a sport psychologist professional to help him with his golf game as he was shooting over 100 every time he played. The sport psychologist told the young man that he would help, but first would like to go out with him on the course and observe him and his game. Little did the young man know that the sport psychologist brought 100 paper clips with him and placed them in his left back pocket. After the round was completed, the young man asked how he did and could the sport psychologist help him (His score was 108)? The sport psychologist agreed to help, but he said, "The first thing we need to discuss, and right now, is your attitude while you play." The young man looked at him puzzled and asked what he meant by that.
The sport psychologist raised his pointer finger as if to say non-verbally, wait a second and I will show you. The sport psychologist dug deep into his right back pocket and dumped 89 of those 100 paper clips onto the young man's hood of his car. The young man, even more puzzled asked what these were and what was the meaning? The sport psychologist said, "Each paper clip represented a moment on the course from the first tee to walking off the 18th green that you showed in words or in actions, a negative emotion or behavior while playing the round of golf. 89 times, you were mad, mean, upset, lashed out, did something negative with a facial action or made a noise or a yell in disgust. You even slammed a club into the ground or threw it 5 times. On the 18th hole, I thought for the first time in my professional career, I would run out of paper clips! When you fix your attitude and behavior, you will get better almost instantly.
Flashing forward 4 weeks, the young man cut his negative outbursts from 89 to 29 and his score reflected this as his new personal best score was 94, and a 14-shot decrease!
Anderson, M. B. (2005). Sport psychology in practice. Human Kinetics.
Weinberg, R. S., & Gould, D. (2019). Foundations of sport and exercise psychology. (7th ed.).
Human Kinetics
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